


Drunken Events

by KairiUJMK



Category: Mabinogi (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Karaoke, Naked Male Clothed Female, Naked Talvish, Naked Vayne, Obvious crack, Small 21 year old girl, Some Fluff, When you wake up with Vayne besides you, You may wake up with a naked Vayne, don't drink kids, drunk, nothing good can come of this, takepon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21578902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KairiUJMK/pseuds/KairiUJMK
Summary: "V-Vayne....For the sake of my sanity....w-w-what did we do l-last night?"Vayne just winked, "I believe a better question Kairi would be...whatdidn'twe do last night."What would Kairi do if she woke up with a Naked Vayne beside her?Twitter cursed me with fan art and thus this tripe was born :mewsip:Edit: Fixed up.
Relationships: Talvish/Original Female Character
Collections: Collection





	1. Don't drink kids, you may wake up with a naked Vayne

**Author's Note:**

> Twitter prompted this by sending me a fan art of first person POV of Vayne (just shirtless) in bed beside you. Then I got to thinking...He wouldn't just be shirtless would he....then twitter deemed to send me a fan art of Vayne in armor, but no pants....so then I got this idea...enjoy.
> 
> Edit: Fixed up mentioning some characters. Also, added some tags to show her age, since I heard from people who know her in game that her height was making a few people uncomfortable. She is 21 despite how small she is which is 4' 10" (To what that equivalents to in Mabi idk), she has large bust and doesn't look prepubescent at all, she is NOT a loli (Though some game clothes don't help with removing her bust, but she's supposed to have them REEEEEEEE!)

Warmth. That was all Kairi could feel as she slept. She felt like she was floating on clouds, at least until she began to wake up. A tremendous pounding headache drummed against her temple, just what did she do yesterday, it was hurting like a mother- ahem, such language isn't nexon-cimeni approved I'm afraid. As she rolled over in bed, she felt something yank her against something to stop her from doing so, a soft brushing motion on her hair. She froze and kept her eyes shut...just what was happening? Was it Takepon? No, this grip was stronger than that, and their body felt more wider than Take's was. And that brush on her hair felt like a hand...it was extra large.

She felt her face heat up as only one person came to mind... Talvish. His hands were large, warm, and comforting, and he was very much welcome in her stead. She could hardly calm her heart as slight fear set in that he'd leave again soon if she didn't awaken quickly, but still...to be in bed with him...how scandalous.

She creaked her eyes open slowly to start, her heart racing with glee before quickly jolting into panic as the tuft of blonde hair was no where in sight. Instead her eyes flew open in surprise as she was staring into a light grey eye, or so it appeared with the shade coating his face from his angle in the light. His black hair covered his other eye and he appeared to be shirtless. She struggled in vain as she realized she wasn't in Talvish's arms...she was in VAYNE'S ARMS!

HOW?! SHE COULDN'T RECALL GIVING HIM ACCESS TO HER HOMESTE-Oh...wait...this was Vayne...logic doesn't apply to him. Fuuuuuuuuuu-!!!!

"Are you always this energetic in the morning, Kairi?" Vayne smirked at the struggling girl in his arms.

She froze when she felt something against her thigh that shouldn't be there. Her face popped a bright cherry red as she mentally began to panic, ' _ **Oh stars! He's not wearing anything!**_.'

Vayne just devilishly grinned as he continued to tease, "And after everything that happened last night too."

' _ **Dear Aton Cimeni....what did I do last night?...**_ '

"L-Last night?" Kairi said failing to recall anything from last night no matter how hard she tried to think. She looked up at Vayne, her face absolutely flushed yet her skin became a sickly pale as she lightly begged and squeaked out, "V-Vayne....For the sake of my sanity....w-w-what did we do l-last night?"

Vayne just winked, "I believe a better question Kairi would be...what _didn't_ we do last night."

"Eh?" Was all Kairi could make out before Vayne pressed on with his explanation.

"You showed me another side of you last night," Vayne said as he licked his lips, "It was in way, _adorable_."

"A-a-adorable?!" Kairi squeaked out as she felt like steam could be coming out her ears with how hot her face felt.

He raised his hand to lift her chin up to him to look him in the eye as he finished up, "Yes. Adorable. Watching your face shift with so many unrestrained emotions. The two of us made you say 'Ahn Ahn' so many times~."

"AHN AHN?!" Kairi shrieked before she lost every brain cell in her head and proceeded to almost faint until a few specific words brought her back to consciousness, her face now deathly pale, "W-Wait....'both....of us?'..."

Vayne's smile grew as he looked over to the other side of the bed behind her, "Yes....both of us..."

Kairi flinched as she heard groaning and shuffling. Vayne wouldn't allow her to turn around physically, but she turned her head enough to see something that made her heart jump out of it's chest.  
A pair of wings rose up and stretched out as the person let out a very large yawn. A tuft of blonde hair started to come into view, seeing how noodlish it was she didn't need to wonder who it was as her face was now scarlet red again, it was definitely Talvish this time.

"Mmmm, what was that shoutin-" Talvish got out, his head barely rising over the bed top to view the sight that twisted his face in anger, his tone became almost venomous, "Balor Beimnech. What are you doing?"

"Oh? Is it not natural to cuddle first thing in the morning after a night filled with so much...action? Being chivalrous is rather noble, but if you sleep on the ground, you lose your chance." Vayne got out making Kairi squirm again now.

"You will unhand her this instant and leave at once..." Talvish growled making Vayne grin and lift up something and wave it in front of Talvish, "Come now. If I leave, I'll be taking this lovely footage of last night's events."

"Y-Y-YOU RECORDED?!" Kairi was now shouting, at this point she no longer felt decent.

Vayne gave her a beaming smile, "Yes. You did show me how to use this contraption after all. Shall we start at all those 'Ahns~' or shall we move onto my favorite scene of your trying to-"

Kairi was about to ask what more she could've done until Talvish's shout got her attention. He stood up and shouted angrily, "That is enough! You will delete that footage of her in such an unsightly state sharing her maidenly skin, and forget you ever saw it! Am I clear?!!"

At that moment the last brain cell left Kairi's head as her face now exploded beyond the boundaries of red. Talvish....he was completely naked too. She didn't know what had happened last night and she'd never know as her head rolled back on the pillow and she slipped into a coma.

Vayne smirked at the unconscious girl in his arms, "That could've gone better."

Talvish glared harder at the man holding her in his arms, "I told you. Hands off of her. NOW!"

Vayne just smirked, "You could just come in and join us. Are you sure you don't wish to review last night's events?"

"I already said-!" Talvish got out until...

" _Hai~ <3 Takekoputaa~!"_"

The small girl's voice pierced Talvish's ears making him silence up, his face now turning bright red at the sight before him as Vayne had lifted the camera to show him the video that was now playing on the screen.

The small girl was cuddled up in Talvish's arms, nuzzling herself into his chest as she sat on his lap, her face bright red as she sang into the microphone sloppily up at the blonde haired man, " _Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~, tottemo daisuki, Torbisshyuuuuu~ <3_ !"

"..." Talvish slid over onto the bed, slapping Vayne's hands away as he now held Kairi instead as he stared up at the camera Vayne was holding, "J-Just for a while."

The two men scooted closer together, Talvish slapping away Vayne's hands that ventured to try to hold her, the two sandwiching the poor unconscious girl between them as they spent the vast hours re-watching the video Vayne took of last night's drunken events.


	2. The best non-nexon cimeni drunken party in the entire Kairi AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shenanigans that made Chapter 1 possible. Enjoy the madness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised the last chapter would have the events...don't blame me if you need bleach lolz.  
> This one is gonna be pretty long.

  
**Present**  


Within Kairi's bedroom was a sight no one would deem possible. Vayne and Talvish in a bed together, both sandwiching the poor girl who was unconscious, their eyes fixed on a tiny screen from her camera as they reviewed the bizarre events of last night's shenanigans. Though the camera didn't hold everything...

**Yesterday**

A huge sigh could be heard from behind the no-peeping fence in Kairi's homestead as she sat beside her hot spring. She kicked the water lightly as she fell over onto the snow beside her. She was lonely, she was always lonely. The spaciousness of her homestead and manor didn't help much either, nor did her double over-sized bed.  
Her fingers lightly traced over the hot water's surface as she began contemplating what to do. Shadow missions weren't appealing, nor were dungeon runs or tech duinn missions. She longed to just have the company of good friends...good friends...

Once again, _HE_ filled her thoughts.

She was always visiting Avalon and the Sanctum everyday. Everyone was so busy other than the squires that weren't in her squad, but even they weren't allowed to keep her company due to their duties. Even Altam had no time to play! And visiting the sanctum felt almost pointless...everyday she had gone since then...everyday...he wasn't there...

She let out another huge sigh as she got up from her spot, brushed off any snow on her, and began to head towards her house, navigating through the forest of bamboo and trees. She'd just sleep the day away in her home...yet again. As she walked over and put her hands on the door knob to her manor something in the corner of her eyes made her freeze. It was black....and red....

As she turned her head slowly, the sight of the one person she wished wasn't there, was sitting at a chair in her little 'dinner for two' area. As he gave her that all too knowing smirk, Kairi felt sweat running down her head. Just how did he get in?! More importantly...How long had he been there?!

"Aren't you going to at least say hi?" Vayne shouted as he waved over in her direction.

Kairi immediately ran over and slammed her hands on the table as she tried to angrily shout, but it came out more as a squeak than a roar, "HOW DID YOU GET IN?!"

He merely smiled almost menacingly up at her, "Fire pillars. I came bearing a gift."  
He lifted a bottle of Vales Whiskey and shook it in front of her, "Care to join me for a glass?"

"Listen here...you can't be here!" Kairi pouted and fussed, "Besides! I don't even like Vales Whiskey, I'd have much preferred a Kiss on the-...."

As Vayne smirked, waiting for her to continue, Kairi paled and quickly scrambled to finish that sentence without the full answer, "Forget that last one! I'd much prefer a Lutra Cocktail Set!"

"Oh? I could bring one if you'd prefer and return," Vayne suggested.

Kairi gave it some thought. If he left to go retrieve something that'd take him a while to get since no shop sold it, that'd give her plenty of time to block him from entering her homestead. She nodded, "Alright. If you can bring that cocktail I suppose I'll join you for a glass."

Vayne got up from his chair and walked past her, "I won't be long. Please be patient."

As she saw him exit, Kairi let out a large sigh of relief. A digital panel appeared before her, she searched for Vayne's name, selected the option, and blocked him. Now he can't get in! She felt herself smiling smugly as she pat herself on the back proudly and began to head back to her manor. She barely took one step up to the door when suddenly a gust of hot air flared behind her, she could hear the crackling of flames and quickly turned to see her Festia Arch was on fire, and in the center of it was Vayne holding a Lutra Cocktail Set, a smirk plastered on his face, "I told you it wouldn't take long."

"AH! My Arch! Oh!" Kairi quickly ran and grabbed the two figures that were next to the arch and moved them away before it came crumbling down, she sighed in relief to see that neither her Talvish figure or her Altam figure were scorched.

Vayne peaked over her shoulder making her turn to him with a glare as she held the two figures in her arms tightly like a mother shielding her children. But looking at the figures in her arms, and out of the corners of his eyes too, he noticed almost immediately, "I see you're rather, fond, of that blonde one. You seem to have quite the collection going."

"None of your business," she responded coldly, making him smirk at the thought of pressing her for a challenge, but she turned to him with a huge pout and shouted making him regain his senses, "AND HOW DID YOU GET BACK IN?!"

"Ah, you mean that 'block'? I'm afraid no barricade can withstand the heat of my blade my dear. Furthermore," he raised the jug, "I do believe I've returned with the goods. The bartender at Belvast doesn't usually sell it, but with some, persuasion, I managed to obtain some from his special stash."

Kairi blinked dumbly as she gave a silent prayer to Barry before slumping over and heading back towards the table, "Fine...I'm sure one glass won't hurt..."

Oh how she'd eat those words tomorrow.

"And so *hic* I'm lonely and *hic*, now I don't know what to doooooo! *hic*" Kairi said as she thumped her head against the table, her face hidden under her arms as she sobbed heavily. A simple glass was all it took to unravel her, and Vayne was enjoying seeing her let down her guard so.

"I see...So, the blonde one is this, Talvish," Vayne spoke as if seeking clarification, he continued when he saw her head nod, "but he betrayed you also but by stabbing you in the back, literally," another nod, "and you love him?" He received a final nod which made him take a swig of his glass, he had a pretty high tolerance so he wasn't concerned, "And compared to falling in love with the man who impaled you, you find me awkward?"

She stopped her sobbing and turned to him with a silly bubbly grin, "Yeah, very. Cause you look so much like my daddy it's awkward big time when you stalk me."

Vayne took a moment to reflect on their battle in Belvast, if that were true, could that be the reason why she hesitated and ran at the start of their fight? At that time she didn't have the look of a fighter, but that of a frightened, stunned child, it was only after she halted part way in her running and turned around that her eyes changed. Changed to the eyes of a woman who knew of battles, who lusted for it, who was thrilled to be in the midst of theirs. Yes that woman, those eyes made him-

A hand slapped on his face and forcefully pushed him back. He quickly turned towards the table expecting to see Kairi perhaps angry at him due to her unrestrained emotions, but he was greeted with a different sight. The guardian was glaring at him, no, this 'Talvish' man was floating there besides Kairi, his gaze as murderous as his tone as he spoke, "What do you think you're doing with her, _Balor Beimnech_?"

Vayne grinned as he replied, "We were having a civil conversation over drink."

Talvish's eyebrow twitched at the memory of seeing Vayne leaning in towards her face when he first entered into her homestead, "A 'civil' conversation? Since when does civil include taking advantage of her when she's drunk?"

Vayne looked puzzled but shrugged it off, he must've been more deep in his thoughts than he had thought. 

"You will leave here, and never return," Talvish growled angrily.

A small hiccup was heard behind Talvish before he was suddenly pushed forward into the snow by a tackle hug from behind, "Ah-Oof!"  
He lifted his head out of the snow to see Vayne snickering at him before he turned his head to try to see Kairi hugging him from behind, "K-Kairi, what are you-?"

"TAKEPOYOOON~!!! You came to visit! Yatta~!" Kairi shouted so happily as she snuggled into his back.

Talvish looked confused as he tried to get up, one good twist to see behind him at the table told him all he needed to know. The jug was empty, her glass was empty, Vayne's glass was now empty, even the Vales Whiskey was empty! She had drunk the entirety of the beverages, it was a miracle she was even still conscious. Once he managed to get her to let go of him he gave her a look over. Her face was beyond flushed, not just her face, her body seemed to be flushing too, her eyes weren't fully there, she let out a tiny 'hic' every while, and she was wobbling despite holding her steady.

He had come because he felt something wasn't right with her, this must've been what he was sensing.

"Takeh~" Kairi cooed happily as she began to reach into a bag she pulled from seemingly no where, "I got a present for joo~!"

Talvish looked at her confused, he didn't know who this 'Takeh' or 'Takepoyon' was, but he had to guess it was him for now, "Um, for me?"

"MHM~" Kairi hummed out before she gave him a mischievous grin pulling out the object before him, "TADA~ An Eluned Baseball Club Headband~!"

"Uh," Was all Talvish could get out before Vayne began to chuckle earning a glare from Talvish, "Just what is so funny, Balor?"

Vayne merely continued to snicker, "Oh, just imagining that 'cute' ribbon in your hair."

Talvish was about to reply to the snide remark until he heard a light sob. He turned to see Kairi's face practically streaming with tears, was it even humanly possible to pour out that many tears at once?! "Kairi?!"

She sniffled before she sloppily sobbed out, "Take dun lik mah prezen'....uuuuaaaaaaaaa"

Talvish had never had to console a crying woman before, more so one of the most precious to him, he was at a loss until Vayne spoke up again, "It's not very civil to make a lady cry."

"Will you just leave? What are you even doing here in her home?" Talvish spoke up irritably, dealing with Kairi drunk was already challenging, having Balor to add to the trouble was just frustrating for him.

"Couldn't I ask you the same?" Vayne began to grin, "What does the man who won over her heart and swore her safety, the man who back stabbed her literally and abandoned her be doing here in her home? Unlike you, she agreed to allow me to stay here for a drink so long as I brought the item she requested."

Talvish wanted to reply to that, but he couldn't...it was all true. He couldn't hide the shame that he had swore to be with her till the end not just for fighting the Zebach, he swore she wouldn't come to harm, yet he himself harmed her anyway. And then, he had left her all alone with no telling of when he'd return to her, or if. He noticed her coming to the Sanctum everyday, but he never showed himself to her, or even bothered. He knew she was lonely...but he refused to go to her side out of shame.

As Kairi sniffled, her hands found his wings. She gave them nice, long, soft strokes across his wing making him suddenly jolt at the sudden sensations as he tried to get her name out of his mouth, "K-Ka-Ka-Kai!"  
He wanted to stop her, but the look on her face made him freeze, her face was lit up like a child on Christmas Eve as she threw herself into his wings to nuzzle them, "They so sowft~!!! Nya~!"

Talvish couldn't help but smile down at her as he curled his wing around her and covered her with the other, hearing her giggling uncontrollably underneath the feathers.

"Oh? It seems like you two are having quite some fun," Vayne smirked, "Mind if I joined in?"

Talvish turned to him angrily, "No, you may not." His attention was caught again when both of Kairi's hands slapped hard on his face and held it firmly in place making him slightly hiss in pain before his face started to burn at the serious gaze she was now giving him, her face was inching closer, closer, closer, it was getting incredibly close now! "Kair-!"

Her serious gaze turned into a pout before she pulled back a bit and shouted in his face, "YOU! *hic* You're not 'poyon...*hic* But you have soft noodle hair *hic* just like Talvish...."

Talvish stared at her dumbfounded as he attempted to try to speak, the scent of alcohol thick on her breath, "Well-" 

But Kairi was having none of that, "And you have wings! *hic* Just like Tarvish..."

"I, Well I am Tal-"

"And you can't even speak to me cause you're a coward! *hic*....Just like Torbish..."

Vayne continued to snicker at the entire ordeal earning a glare from Talvish which made Kairi shout again, "AND YOU'RE LEAVING ME ON READ AGAIN!!! JUST LIKE *hic* TALL BITCH!!!"

Both men stared at her as she curled up into a ball on the snow and began to sob again, though Vayne suddenly burst out laughing at her little outburst when it finally sank it.

Talvish carefully lifted her in his arms and began to carry the sobbing girl towards the manor, he paused only when Vayne spoke up, "And just where are you taking her?"

Talvish turned to give him a hard stare, "I'm taking her to get some water to sober up and put her in bed to rest."

As he entered the door to her manor Kairi stopped crying and looked up suddenly shocked, "Huh?! Tal*hic*lbish!"

"It's okay, we're going to the kitchen to get some water. It's alright," Talvish attempted to assure her, but soon he was met with a huge grin as she flailed to get out of his arms, "YAY! You're here! It's *hic* time for Karaoke then~!"

"Karaoke? Whoa!" Talvish managed to say before she hopped out of his arms and began to stumble towards the farthest door to the bottom right, "Kairi!"

She entered into the room and fell over near her vanity, she scrambled to get up and began rummaging through her drawers till she found what she wanted. As Talvish entered the bedroom she grabbed his wrist and dragged him in, Vayne following behind with a smirk at Talvish's lost look.

She ran over to Vayne and shoved a camera in his hands, "Record *hic* us all singing!"

Vayne stared at the strange device, "Record?"

She leaned in close and showed him the buttons, "Yeah you *hic* press this to record, this to *hic* stop, rewind is here, and ummm *hic* oh then there's play. See, it's not too hard."

Vayne pressed the record button and began recording her as she stared up at him with a huge smile, "*hic* Thanks so much daddy~!"

Vayne could only mischievously smirk at the innuendo that was there, yet wasn't truly implied. Vayne's eyes could only widen as big as Talvish's did as she shoved Talvish to sit on her bed as she hopped in his lap, straddling him at first which made him squirm at the sudden motion, "Um, Kairi, what is going on?"

She smiled up at him so brightly he held back any protest as she chimed with a microphone to her lips, "Karaoke~ You gotta *hic* sing with me!"

"I don't really know any songs though," Talvish spoke up, but he kept quiet as Kairi began to frown before she lit up again, "Well *hic* everyone knows Doraemon~! Come on sing with me! *hic*"

He could only watch confused as she sang in her microphone that was thankfully turned off,  
"Konna koto ii na~  
*hic*ttara ii na~  
anna yume~ *hic* konna yume~, ippai aru kedo~!  
*hic* Minna~ minna~ minna~  
kanaete kureru~  
*hic*igina Pokke de kanaete kureru~  
sora wo jiyu*hic*u ni tobitai na~  
Hai~! Takekoputa~!  
*hic* Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~  
tottemo daisuki *hic*  
Talvishuuuuu~!"

"I'm afraid I don't understand a single word of that," Talvish apologized making her frown before she lit up again, this time she wrapped her arms around him as she replied, "I'll just *hic* sing it in English then!"

She cleared her throat before letting out another hiccup. She frowned and hopped off his lap top grab a bottle near her bed and practically chugged it, Talvish hoped it was water. She walked back and sat in his lap again making him flush up and she now cuddled into his chest and began to sing again,  
"This sort of thing is good~  
I wish I could do it~  
That sort of dream~ This sort of dream~, I have many of them but~!  
All of them~, all of them~, all of them~  
he grants my dreams~  
he grants my dreams with a mysterious pocket~  
I want to fly freely in the sky~  
Here~! Bamboo-copter~!"

Talvish stared at her with wide eyes, she wasn't hiccuping anymore. Was she sobered up now?

"Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~" She sang as her face turned into a melty smile up at him, "I love you very much, Talvichhhhh~!

His face felt hot as it popped into a deep cherry red, she wasn't sober. He had so much time to process his feelings towards her, and he felt the same way towards her, but to be told by her directly was still a little overwhelming. He quickly shook his head to drop the idea, she was drunk, she wouldn't say it if she were sober, and that alone made him feel a bit upset.

She snuggled into his chest making him wrap his arms around her to steady her as she smiled up at him, "Come on sing with me this time~"

Talvish was about to until she began singing in Japanese again, but he just smiled helplessly at her as she snuggled in his arms, nuzzling his chest and sang up at him with such a beaming smile, "Hai~ <3 Takekoputaa~! Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~, tottemo daisuki, Torbisshyuuuuu~ <3 !"

Knowing the actual lyrics now was making Talvish's face flush up as she tried singing again and again, her head starting to bob as if she were falling asleep, "Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~<3 tottemo raisugi, Tarvishyuuunyaaaan~!"

Talvish sighed as he stroked through her hair making her giggle and nuzzle against his hand, he was positive his smile wasn't firmly set as he spoke, "Alright, I think that's enough singing. It's best you drink some water and go to bed already."

"Oh~ That isn't quite fair of you. What if someone here still wants to hear her sing?"

Talvish jerked, he had just about forgot that Vayne was here, and he was recording the entire time.

Vayne set down the camera on her desk where it was facing all three of them as he walked over to Kairi with a smirk, "Would you like to sing that last part a bit more?"

Kairi looked at him a bit dazed but smiled and complied, "Last part? Sure~ Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~ tottemou ricesu-"

"Hm, just that first part will do," Vayne quickly interrupted.

Kairi tilted her head in confusion, "Hm? Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~?"

Vayne smiled wickedly at her as his eyes darted quickly to the camera before returning on her, "Yes, that part."

Kairi looked blank for a few moments before throwing up her arms and beaming, "OK! Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~!"

"Again," Vayne commanded.

"Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~!" Kairi chimed happily.

"Agai-" Vayne got out before Talvish covered up her ears and shot him a dirty look, "Just what are you making her-"

"Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~ <3 Ahn~ Ahn~ Ahn~ <3" Kairi sang before she began to giggle like mad.

"Letting her have some fun," Vayne answered the unfinished question as he watched her with a grin.

"She doesn't need your kind of fun," Talvish growled making Kairi's attention shoot between him and Vayne as it felt like two dogs were glaring at each other. Kairi shook Talvish as she pouted and whined, "No fitting~! During karage, we all....get a long...ummm a long what?"

But the two showed no signs of letting up this time, Talvish attempted to shuffle her from his lap onto her bed, but she was clinging to him so tightly now he couldn't get her off, "Come now, Kairi. You need to drink some water and sleep."

"I...need...water?" Kairi asked as a question more to herself than to Talvish who responded with a simple 'Yes'. The cogs in her mind tried turning despite how broken they were, her face felt hot but slowly but surely as she began to piece things, "Water....get along....getting along in water....a bath...."

Talvish stared at her confused as he stopped trying to wrangle her, "Huh?"

Kairi's head then shot up and she put herself at arm's length apart in his lap, "A BATH! THAT'S IT!!!"

"Wh-" Talvish didn't get any time to process anything before her hands shot down to grab the bottom of her shirt and yank it up in one swift movement over her head and flying across her room, her bra getting caught and removed along with it. His face steamed up at the sight of the woman he loved half naked in his lap, his brain catching up to him when her hands flew down to her skirt. He quickly gripped her wrists to stop her as he tried to avert his eyes as he spoke, "W-W-W-Wait! Kairi! What are you doing?!"

Kairi smiled and gave her simple answer, "Me and my brother got along so well when we took baths together when we were little. So, if we all take a bath and soak in the hot springs together we'll all get along~!"

"Taking a bath when you're little and taking a bath with two grown men now as an adult is a separate matter!" Talvish argued before he heard the shuffling of clothes and armor behind her. 

They both turned to see Vayne there completely buck naked standing there proudly in wait.

"BALOR BEIMNECH, JUST WHAT ARE YOU-" Talvish shouted as he quickly pulled Kairi closer to keep her skin from view, he was utterly appalled at the bold display. A sudden tug on his shirt turned his attention, but it was too late.

"See! He knows the bathroom rules! Clothes...OFF!" Kairi said as she ripped off Talvish's shirt in one swift motion.

Talvish's first reaction was to cover his chest with his hands, his face one of pure shock as Kairi's hands flew to the lower part of his clothes. He quickly gripped her hands to stop her and began to argue with her, his tone was one of pure disbelief, "Kairi! Regain your senses, please! We are not taking a bath! You are drunk and need to sleep!"

"Yes we are! So we can all be close together!"

Talvish's face flared even redder, "We don't need to be _THAT_ close!"

"Oh~ So you don't see her in that way?" Vayne teased.

Before Talvish could open his mouth he heard a sniffle and turned to see Kairi beginning to cry, "So....So we're not even close anymore....even though you....and I....I..."

Talvish began to panic, he didn't know what to say to diffuse the situation, "I-It's not like that! I mean we are close, but bathing together without clothes is just..."

Kairi pouted as she looked up at him with teary eyes, "It's what married people do! Don't you wanna marry me?!"

Talvish's felt faint, his heart shot with an arrow once more as he struggled to reply, "W-Well I...I mean...I ...ah, but this is about bathing! Why is marriage coming up in bathing?!"

"So...I'm almost naked in your lap and you wont marry me or take responsibility...you're...you're...." Kairi got out before tears streamed down her face as she threw herself into Talvish's arms wailing, "UWAAAAAA!!!! TARVISH~!!! YOU'RE JUST LIKE TALL BITCHHHHH!!!"

Talvish froze up, his entire body red now at the feeling of her bare chest against his, he held her and stroked her head to try to calm her, but the moment his grip was off her wrist he felt her try to tug at the lower robe part of his clothes making him turn into a cherry, "Oh no you don't! Time to sleep!"

"Oh yes I do~! Bath time!" Kairi suddenly stopped her wailing and began to wrestle with Talvish on the bed.

Vayne merely chuckled at the scene before asking, "You two sure seem to be having fun without me. Care for me to join?"

"Yes!" Kairi smiled at the offer for help.

"NO!" Talvish argued, but in his small lapse of attention Kairi took her opportunity.

"Hiyah! Gotcha!" She rolled over, pinning Talvish under her body, her mouth covering his Adam's apple in light sucks and licks.

Talvish shivered as his eyes widened like saucers, his body felt hot under her as her hips grinded against him, her hands trailed across his chest making him hiss and moan, "K-Kairi. Wai- What? Mm, Sto-" One good lick from the apple to his jaw made him give up protest as he tossed back his head with a low growl, "Kai...ri..."

At that moment his guard was entirely down, he couldn't believe this was happening. He wanted to stop her and let her know she wasn't in her right state of mind, but his body protested with his heart, it just felt too good. He had always in some part of his heart, desired to be with her like this, no, not quite like this, he wanted her to be sober and actually willing, not dead drunk. And with one swoop, Kairi swiftly yanked off his bottom, "GOTCHA!"

As Kairi's gaze sweeped down, she froze for a moment before he quickly regained composure and covered his lower half with her sheet. She blinked a few times before talking, her gaze one of frozen disbelief, "Just now...I saw gold hair....and then something...dark...."

"Uh uh," Talvish began to mentally panic to think of something as she stared at him rather vacantly, his face flushed and body still flushed deep red as he trembled, "I-It was just a ghost!"

Kairi blinked dumbly before falling over on her bed, "A....ghost..."

"Kairi?!"

She twitched like she had been electrocuted before speaking almost monotonous, "Be careful everyone, there's an evil spirit in the house...."

"Uh, yes. We'll be careful. Ah, but it won't get you if you're asleep. So, it's probably best to nap now," Talvish tried persuading her.

"...Nap....sounds good....Uhhhhhh," Kairi got out before she passed out in her bed.

Talvish let out a sigh before he twitched as the sight of the camera appeared out of the corner of his eye, Vayne was holding it with a devilish smirk, "So, it's a ghost, huh? That's too bad~ Would've been rather interesting to see the events play out further."

Talvish replied irritably as he put back on Kairi's top and tucked her in, "There wouldn't be anything. Delete that footage and leave."

Vayne just smirked, "We could always battle right here and now, but then she'd wake up. And unless you'd like to continue with your little 'heated' session, you wouldn't want to wake her after she's finally fallen asleep now, would you?" Vayne would typically be up for a battle, but even for him who merely observed her rampant behaviors, he found himself worn out.

Talvish rubbed his temples, he was right, Kairi was finally in a way asleep. To wake her now wouldn't be good; his face heated up with the thoughts of her continuing. He couldn't get Balor to leave so easily.

Vayne shrugged before he proposed an offer, "We could always settle whether I stay or go in a more 'civil' manner," he pulled out 2 bottles of Lutra Cocktail Sets that Kairi had as presents from friends on her vanity.

Talvish wasn't one to take on such a challenge, but for Kairi's sake he'd do it to get this man away from her. 

A few glasses later, Talvish was passed out by Kairi's bedside, he couldn't bring himself to sleep beside her, especially with no clothes on. He had never drank much as work had to be done with being the Commander and a Captain as one, so his tolerance wasn't quite up to par.

Vayne could only smirk at his triumph, but he'd have to wait for his battle with the guardian some other time. He pressed the button to stop the recording and set aside her camera as he crawled into bed beside her. Hey, it was that man's fault for not taking the opportunity, and if anything, it would at least fuel that man's need for a fight much later on.

**Back to the present**

Talvish watched as Vayne walked off. He had his armor on and everything, but his pants were missing...when Talvish asked abut them, Vayne could only shrug and say they were somehow burnt. He let out a sigh of relief when Vayne exited the homestead and didn't return within 5 minutes. He held up the camera and flushed a bright red, he'd have to apologize for taking her possession, but...he felt it was wiser to take it, remove the footage, and then return it when she was out. He wasn't sure she could handle seeing herself in that state and be happy about it. Which reminded him as his expression darkened...he'd have to beat Vayne senseless next they'd meet so he could forget seeing her half naked as well. He wouldn't stand for any other man seeing her exposed as such.

He also made a mental note to destroy any alcohol given to her or that she'd purchase as he watched over her in secret.

**Omake 1**

"To a good life!" Aodhan toasted as he and some close NPCs were throwing Kairi a surprise birthday party at Loch Lios.

"To a good life!" Everyone toasted, but before Kairi could sip hers she stared at her empty glass oddly, "Huh? Where'd my drink go?"

Outside on top of the shop, Talvish let out a small hiccup as he wiped his lips from sneakily drinking her beverage.

**Omake 2**

Cethlenn stared at Vayne awkwardly as he walked ahead of him. It wasn't much anything new or different in Vayne's demeanor...but those white frilly panties on his head were highly distracting and disturbing to Ceth, and he wasn't about to ask where he had obtained them, he didn't care to know. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No more drinks for Kairi lolz

**Author's Note:**

> For those wondering what she's singing in Vayne's video that goes 'Ahn Ahn Ahn'....it's her drunken version of Doraemon obviously! Hai Takekoputaa!  
> Now next chapter I plan to put in the actual drunk party that went on lolz


End file.
